The Only Thing We Have To Fear...

CLIMACOPHOBIA: fear of climbing...


BATHMOPHOBIA: fear of stairs or slopes...


I don't know which one she had, but one of my passengers tonight suffered from one of these extreme fears! She is simply terrified of climbing stairs!


Her name is Cheryl... As I was driving with Uber tonight, I picked up Cheryl from Norton Audubon Hospital on Poplar Level Road. She seemed quite nervous, and she wished that she could have remained in the hospital for the night... but no luck with that.


On the ride home, Cheryl and I talked about many things. However, as we got closer to her son's home (she is living with him and his wife), all of her thoughts turned to those stairs...


Cheryl began to explain her extreme fear of climbing and descending stairs. And her son lived above a pawn shop...


The stairs were made of wood... though they were stable enough, the stairs had no backing; and you could see between each step exactly how high you were...


This was not going to be easy...


As we got closer to home, Cheryl got more and more nervous. Her nervousness became real anxiety. And when she saw those stairs, Cheryl was on the verge of a bonafide nervous breakdown!


I wanted to help her up the stairs; I offered to do so, and she gladly accepted my offer. But, then her son came down the stairs to help Cheryl. And I could clearly see one of her challenges...


Cheryl was getting no love from her kids on this matter with the stairs! Her son told her to calm down. He grabbed her by the hand. And he proceeded to basically drag her along up the stairs to the first landing...


By that time, the daughter-in-law was loudly repeating "you're doin' this to yourself!"... her son was threatening to just pick her up and carry her the rest of the way... and Cheryl was petrified!


To be fair, I can understand the frustration of the children... they have to deal with this unusual fear every single day. But right at this moment... when Cheryl is standing there, frozen on the landing and wailing with terror... right at this moment, Cheryl did not need frustration. What she needed is understanding.


I asked the son to let me help her the rest of the way...


I wrapped my right arm around Cheryl's waist. I took her left hand into mine. And, with her right hand, Cheryl held tightly to the banister. I spoke calmly, and I said, "OK Cheryl, you ready? ...then, here we go."


Slowly we climbed together... one step... two steps... three steps... and so on. Eventually, we made it to the top. It was kind of weird, but immediately, Cheryl's body completely relaxed!


I put my arm around her shoulder, and I said, "you did it!" She hugged me and said, "WE did it! Thank you so much!"


The son offered me a tip... this time I did not accept. I just said, "no worries sir... glad to help"...


Some people say that fear is an illusion. Cheryl's daughter would say, "we are doing it to ourselves"...


We may or may not be doing it to ourselves... but fear is no illusion... it is an absolutely real thing!


And, just as it was the case with poor Cheryl, what we may need to conquer the fear is NOT for someone to say, "it's all in your head"...


What we may need is a little understanding... a little patience and support from someone who cares.